


F#@k, Marry, Kill

by Shortsandramblings



Series: Ramdom Shorts (...and Ramblings) [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortsandramblings/pseuds/Shortsandramblings





	F#@k, Marry, Kill

 

 

Setting down her martini glass, Margaery tapped her nails against it to get everyone’s attention and spoke:

“Right - for the innocent ladies out there, the rules are simple: for each turn we name three people and you have to choose which to marry, which to fuck, and which to kill. - Extra points for originality of how you kill, marry or fuck the different people...”

Arya frowned as she took another sip of her drink: “Wait, wait, wait – question: the person I marry: do I get to fuck them as well or is it a platonic marriage? ‘Cos if it’s not platonic, then it should be called: ‘ _who do you fuck once, who do you fuck multiple times – or as many times as you want - and who do you never fuck_ ’?”

“Ummm... dunno. I guess you get to decide with your husband to be...”

All the girls gave a nod of approval: “Fair enough.”

 

 

. . .

 

 

“Right the next round is the Baratheon brothers... who wants a go?”

Jeyne spoke up, a little confused: “Ummm, Marg: we’ve already done Joffrey with Ramsay and Viserys, and did Tommen with Rickon and Trystane...”

Margery huffed at her like she was an idiot: “Nooo... I meant: the Baratheon **_men_** : Robert, Stannis, Renly.”

“Oh. - Aren't they a little old?”

Sansa pointed out: "Well, Stannis and Renly aren't that old. And we did do Tywin Lannister, Walder Frey and Roose Bolton."

"True."

Myrcella rolled her eyes: “Well Shireen and I can’t be doing this one...Its one thing to play and kill your brother or cousin so you don’t have to marry or fuck him; but killing, marrying or fucking your own dad or uncles is a whole new level of wrong...”

“Fair enough. – So Myrcella and Shireen are out, who will it be? Arya, wanna have a go?”

“Why not... Ummm, ok well I would: ...”

 

 

 

**. . . . . .**

 

 

 

“So what did _you_ answer?”

“Well _I_ didn’t – Arya answered: she killed Robert, fucked you and married Renly. – Must say, part of me was very pissed off that my own sister fake-fucked you.”

 

In the semi-darkness of his bedroom, Sansa noticed the edge of his lip twitched:

“Well, if I promise I would not have let her fake-fuck me... or fake–kill me or fake-marry me... does that make it any better?”

 

Cuddling closer to him, her naked body pressing further into his side, arm covering more of his chest, Sansa was not the least embarrassed by the possessiveness of her actions or words: “Yep. – Only I can do all those things.”

Stannis gave her arm a small playful squeeze: “I rather you not fake-kill me, though.”

A small smile on her lips, she softly bit his neck, as if in warning... or marking him: “Well... I would fake-kill you if you ever fake-fucked any other woman.”

“Fair enough. You haven’t answered the question though.”

Lifting her upper body slightly from his, Sansa’s brows creased together: “What question?”

“Fuck-Marry-Kill: Robert, Renly and I?”

Sansa huffed: “I told you: I didn’t have to answer; _Arya_ answered.”

Wrapping his own arm around her tighter, Stannis insisted: “Yes, but what would you have answered?”

“Huummm, well this isn’t really fair since I _am_ already fucking you - even if none of the girls know that, its still could be considered 'cheating', cos I know how good you are ( _small wink_ ). Well... I guess I would do the same as Arya: kill Robert, fuck you and marry Renly.”

At the reply, Stannis body turned to fully face her, a clear level of shock and hurt on his face was visible, even in the shadows: “What?! You would marry Renly over me?!”

Unconcerned for his bruised feelings or ego, Sansa moved herself closer to him once more: “Well would you rather I fuck him?... In any case our marriage would be platonic. And he would get me into all the best fashion shows. And who knows: maybe I cool continue sleeping with you on the side?”

After a small huff, she noticed him sombre a bit, his body relaxing once more into the sheets, letting her into an embrace: “Hmmm... fair enough. Though I am a little concerned about your lax views on marriage, and I'm not sure how I feel on cuckolding my own brother... On the other hand: I definitely don’t want you fucking either one of my brothers...”

 

The discussion seeming to be over, Sansa closed her eyes as she slowly traced his chest with her nails.

 

They both stayed quiet for a long pause, before Stannis let out a small sigh:

“Well... if you only want to fuck me, what am I supposed to do with this?”

Properly opening her eyes in confusion, Sansa looked to the side, to look up at him, but instead of meeting Stannis’ gaze, her eyes landed on a small opened box, showing a beautiful oval cut diamond.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Advantages of Eavesdropping – F#@k, Marry, Kill (version 2)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11577930) by [Shortsandramblings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortsandramblings/pseuds/Shortsandramblings)




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